01) Eating YOUR Favorite Things: I’m sor— No. Forget that. I won’t apologize for it. I don’t like cooked apples. I HATE gravy. I think brussel sprouts taste the way moldy old sweat socks smell. Kale is okay in small doses but I don’t want it in my smoothie. I’m 34 years old. I’m going to eat the stuff I like (healthy and crap) because hey, it’s what I like. What a concept. You eat your breakfast sandwich with canadian bacon. I’ll enjoy my lox and bagel, thank you very much.
02) Voicemails: I hate having to call a number to listen to the 10 second voicemail that someone left me, when they could have simply texted the same damn question. Even better? Listening to the voicemail just to get rid of that damn blinking icon and hearing just that quick CLICK as they hang up. You couldn’t have done that 2 seconds prior?
03) Are You Still Watching ______?: Eff you Netflix. Yes. Yes I am in fact marathoning 9 seasons of How I Met Your Mother followed by 4 seasons of The Walking Dead and 18 episodes of Futurama (okay, yes that is an exaggeration) and no, I don’t need your condescending attitude about my viewing habits. Don’t you have better things to do? Like making sure the third season of Hemlock Grove is finally added?
04) Broken Hair ties: As Caitlin said, there is nothing worse then that awful snap as your hair tie breaks and your hair tumbles down at the most inopportune moments. I have waist length hair and work with food. I tie my hair back with two hair ties a day and every so often comes that dreadful sound, that sounds like a car backfiring that echoes in your skull. *shudders*
05) Rudeness to People in the Service Industry: In my line of work, Customer Service comes with the job. I don’t mind it too much. It’s not too hard to smile, say hello and answer the same question 12 times a day. What pisses me off is when you say hello to people who can’t even smile back or acknowledge your existence at all. Hey, guess what. I’m human, not a droid. Don’t make me spit into your cake. Just kidding. I would never actually do that. But don’t make me want to. Please.
06) The other person chronicles: Robin really hit the nail on the head. If you are choosing to be the other man/woman, quit your bitching. I have no use for cheaters/homewreckers. You knew damn well what you were getting into when you started it. Oh and when they cheat on you? DO NOT think it is okay to start complaining about that. After all, if they were willing to cheat with you, why wouldn’t they be willing to cheat on you?
07) Bae/Fleek/Swag What?: I just … I just really don’t understand this new age of slang. I mean yes. Every generation has weird words. But at least Awesome is a word. What the effing eff is fleek? And why the eff do you want to refer to the person you love, as … poop? No thanks. I’ll stick with calling C douchewaffle. Hey. At least it’s two real words AND I know that I won’t have to think about the fact that 6.8 million people are calling their loved ones the same thing. Right?
What are some things that you just don’t have time for? Let me know by dropping a line in the comments!