March 29, 2015

Sunday Secrets #1

“And I know, there is
Some place I can go
Where no one knows my name.”

People tell me I’m brave. The fact is, I’m not. I’m scared. Scared of so many things. The dark, men, love, death. And I’ve done things in the past to ensure the fact that I wouldn’t be hurt, because I was so afraid.

I have a tendency to push people away because I’m afraid that I’ll end up hurting them like I’ve been hurt. So in my warped mind, if I push them away and make them hate me, its better than if I really hurt them – even if it’s not intentional.

But it’s wrong, and I know it. And I’m sorry for the things I did to purposely drive people away. I want to take it back and apologize but feel I can’t because those few people I hurt will just see it as an excuse. This is the reason I always feel like running away to somewhere new. So I’m choosing to focus on the future instead and stop worrying about mistakes I made in the past. The past is the past. It’s over.

But I am sorry. More than they know. And I regret it.

This one was a bit of a heavy secret, but it’s true. Have any sunday secrets you’d like to confess? Feel free to comment or create your own post. I’d love to see it.

  • It’s posts like these that prove you’re definitely brave, or shall we say at least courageous (but I’m going with brave).

  • Thank you Anya! That really means a lot to me.

  • Thanks for sharing! I think so many people have fears and insecurities. You are very brave and real for sharing!